I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize