i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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