vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize