walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
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I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
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I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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