apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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