I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize