But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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