ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
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