is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize