just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
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Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Boobs are out for the taking
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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