if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
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