He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
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It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
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please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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