We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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