i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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