wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
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Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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