There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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