If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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