That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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