I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just gift wrapped bread.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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