i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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