he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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