All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
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So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
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Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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