You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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