i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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