I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
sex in a hospital.. check
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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