once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
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You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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