She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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