If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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