I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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