I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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