Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize