All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
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I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
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It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize