Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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