I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize