shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
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I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
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No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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