the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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