hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
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Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize