Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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