If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize