We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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