There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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