Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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