"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Bring me that man meat
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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