I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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