Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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