whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize