I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
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And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
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I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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