Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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