remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize