Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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